Saturday, May 10, 2003

I generally visit Samizdata for serious thoughts about serious things, but they can be funny, too. Check out this post by Perry de Havilland about the new Georgia state flag. And when you stop laughing, look at the comments for a dose of the serious. Very interesting stuff.

And thus, I suppose, ends funnies week. Next up, serious rants about serious things. Like this one, from the archives (such as they are).

Which reminds me, I've got to go republish. TTFN.
Saw this at Dean's World and couldn't resist any longer: 404 error. And while you're at it, try Iraqi Explorer at StrategyPage.
Michele has a new contest going on over at A Small Victory. I could spend your time telling you how funny this is, but I'll leave it at this: just go look. Do I ever steer you wrong?

Friday, May 09, 2003

Captain Scott has a great post about "road phantoms," those folks you see while driving who just don't seem real, who make you think by their very improbability that they must never have existed at all. (Yes, the permalinks are bloggered...see post entitled "Large Marge Lives!" on 6 May.)

Kalifornia is besieged by folks who logically should have died in traffic accidents long ago. I was behind one yesterday, a woman who was apparently lost, which gets you no slack with me. If you have to go around the block to get to the right place, do it. It is a far better solution than stopping dead in the middle of the block, where nobody expects you to be stopped.

Every place has its traffic patterns and local ethics. 'Round these parts, red lights are optional if the green is short enough. There are intersections where the left lane winds up completely stopped for a block back because only 3 or 4 cars at a time can turn left. This means that it is more like 7 or 8 cars that actually turn, but that's not enough to save the traffic flow from poor engineering. (For the musings of a real-life highway design type, go here.)

The net result is a lot of red-light running, but everybody who drives here regularly knows that at least one car will turn after the light goes red, and everybody adjusts for it. You see similar things elsewhere. In Norfolk, VA, lines painted in a parking lot are to pretty it up, not to guide the flow of traffic. In Pensacola, FL, it is expected that you will come close to a complete stop before making a right turn.

Accidents happen when one driver's violation of the expected traffic pattern, legal or not, collides with the inattention of another driver. Which makes the lady who was ahead of me yesterday a lucky gal. I was paying attention, not yelling at my kids while they were playing video games in the backseat of my Expedition. Whether this woman made it home alive or not, I don't know.

This paragon of traffic irrationality stopped at a green light. I was puzzled by this behavior, as you can well imagine, and I stopped short and sat there staring at the back of her head through her rear window. All I could see was big dark hair--no kids, no cell phone--and before I had time to even wonder whether, just possibly, this individual was mentally impaired, or give the appropriate salute, the light turned yellow, and she took off.

Hmmm.

I've lived in Kalifornia a long damned time, and I don't think I have ever seen that particular combination before. I've been rear-ended for stopping at a red light, and I've seen people stop at greens, but I've never seen one stop at a green and go on a yellow.

The topper, and the reason this made me think of Scott's post, is that when I passed her a block or so later I looked over, wanting a better view of the loon (for what, I don't know), and there she was, driving along, happy and oblivious, with a cigar clamped between her teeth.

Not attractive.

Probably has a husband she beats and six kids.

Welcome to Kali.

Thursday, May 08, 2003

This is a must read I some how missed: an interview with Victor Davis Hanson in the Naval Institute Proceedings.

I am so proud that this man lives in Fresno. And I love what he has to say about the California State University system in this interview. As a Fresno State alumnus, all I can say is that I am so sorry I didn't take a class with him...he is one of the few sane people in the place, and it would have given me something to ease the pain. FSU is very, very lucky to have him.

(Via An Iowa Libertarian)
I was going to observe all the fine advice I've been seeing about not blogging about why you're not blogging, but this is too cool...I got distracted by a friend calling me from the USS Enterprise. OMG, I miss the Navy.
And now we proudly present The Lemon's History of the Internet.

(Via InstaPundit, you asshat!)
This is for Wayne. Others share your pain, babe.

Of course, the rest of you can read it too. Otherwise I would have e-mailed it to him instead of posting it here, sillies. And next time you think you've been pigeonholed, remember the brave gay conservatives and draw strength from their example. Seriously.

[Navel-gazing] I am an unrepentant linker. It has not brought me love, fame, or fortune, nor is it likely to. But I derive a psychic benefit from digging up neat goodies and posting them for others to find. I hope that the mix I have crafted will draw folks, entertain them, then keep them coming back. And I hope that what commentary I do provide will do the same.

I also try to put on my thinker cap once in a while, but I'll never be SDB, which suits me just fine. If it doesn't suit you, go read him instead.

That said, Venomous Kate has some awfully good tips for blogging, which Dean Esmay expands on. And yes, the navel gazing was prompted by a couple of VK's remarks here that hit close to home. I don't agree with everything she has to say, but it's interesting stuff, and it's made me thoughtful. [/Navel-gazing]

UPDATE: Laurence Simon chimes in.

Check out the first edition of Frank Answers over at IMAO. Located via Amish Tech Support, where Mr. Simon seems to be developing an obsession with the question of whether or not there is a Doggy Heaven.

As far as I'm concerned, I don't give a damn as long as it's separate from People Heaven and I don't have to smell doggy breath for eternity or watch anybody kiss his poodle. Although it isn't likely I'll land in People Heaven, so I probably shouldn't be worrying about it. Once upon a time dogs were useful to people, so we kept them around. Sometimes even now, they are useful to people, and some folks keep them around for that purpose. But mostly, they are nasty-smelling parasites who leave squishy surprises where you least expect them and prop up the egos of their hapless human slaves with the slavering loyalty their owners are likely to mistake for intelligence.

And, apparently, they make nice coats. (Via InstaPundit)

This is clearly animal cruelty--bad enough to be killed and skinned, but to be shipped to Europe afterward? Ouch.

Yesterday, I had planned to post the following about the iLoo, but the e-mail containing my link lost itself in cyberspace and I was too lazy to track the thing down again:
OMG, I think this may be taking 'net addiction too far. I mean, really...the iLoo?

Can you imagine what this will do to the lines? I mean, I have enough trouble breaking away from what I'm working on to go to the toilet...how would they ever get me off it once I'm there?
Now, via InstaPundit, we discover the real problem with this innovation.
Quote of the day: Silence will save me from being wrong (and foolish), but it will also deprive me of the possibility of being right. -Igor Stravinsky, composer (1882-1971) (Via Wordsmith.org)

Wednesday, May 07, 2003

It seems I have taken an accidental night off...I've been running around the blogosphere enjoying all the work so many other people put into their blogs today, and completely neglecting mine. Sigh.

Tuesday, May 06, 2003

Speaking of beer...I am overdue to retire for the evening. I leave you in the capable hands of The Advice Bunny.
Enjoy the classic weirdness of Fark. Even better when viewed with a cold beer in one's hand.
Rand Simberg on German humor.

More funny Rand here.
I don't believe I have heretofore linked to On the Fritz, so here it is.
Laurence Simon on the blogfight that has broken out between Michele and Davezilla. Subject? "Book titles that didn't quite make it"
I think the neighbors are going to call the management...I laughed obnoxiously at this. Of course, I've been told that I have an obnoxious laugh anyway. By more than one person. Recently. It makes me long for the ability to kill like samurai with the sword of my laughter.

Of course, when I was four years old, I laughed like Horshack. Didn't everyone? (Hey, Epstein's got his own web site. And it works...there is no note from his mother. Wow.)

(Via a : frustrated : artist)
In case you hadn't guessed by now, we're in a news blackout zone here at this happy blog. (OK, it's not complete, I know, SARS reference, etc., but I'm trying...)

At least through tonight, we're doing funny stuff only. No serious news articles, although just plain silly ones are fair game. There will be plenty of stories and plenty of time to get to them, but I am feeling lighthearted, and you are my willing vicitms in the giggle-fest.

I say through tonight because I doubt I'll be able to last much longer than that...I am a news freak at heart...

Anyway, enjoy.
I don't know who ever would have guessed this one, but it has been confirmed...flies can fly. (Via insignificant thoughts)
OMG, I have the SARS chair of death...NOT.

I just assembled a brand new desk chair, and lo and behold, it was manufactured in China...and if I remember my provinces correctly, the bit of China hardest hit. It's too damn comfortable for me to care.

Onward blogging soldiers...
This is hysterical...both the concept and the execution. Go listen to the smooth stylings of Comical Ali, AKA Baghdad Bob. (Via InstaPundit)

Monday, May 05, 2003

Oh, and happy Cinco de Mayo. I so love it when anybody kicks the French.
A post worth checking out and chuckling at over at Dean's World.

And Frank was busy over the weekend spreading more filthy lies about Glenn Reynolds. (Via Silent Running)

Which concludes our segment for today, sadly enough, now that I've gotten the gratuitous BlogDaddy reference in. I have this job thing to go to in the morning.

I'm thinking about making this whole week into an official hilarious s*** zone. I'm about newsed out. (Ok, it isn't a word, but what the hell? You know how they tell you all through school that you have to know the rules before you can break them? Well, I'll be paying off my English degree for the next 20 years, so I'll make up words as often as I damned well please. So there. :-P)

If I stuck out my tongue at Jim Treacher, do you think he'd make me one of Treacher's pets?
I don't think I've pointed them out before, but if you haven't picked up this habit already, you should: go read Cox and Forkum.
Since the theme for tonight would seem to be "politically incorrect," go visit Treacher. I'm thinking of this post in particular.
I went to all the trouble to put together a post on the goings-on over at A Small Victory, and Blogger decided to make a meal of it. Apparently the server is overloaded tonight, which means that either something's down or they've outgrown themselves again. Sigh. I'm waiting for Typepad, which promises to be some sort of Moveable Type for Dummies. At least, I desperately hope so.

So I suppose tonight's offering is going to wind up being one long post, which is irritating to read, imho, but you do with what you've got.

In any case, Michele has the results of the Saddam Birthday Poetry Contest posted for your enjoyment. And don't forget to visit Slutpublican Campaign Headquarters.

I was going to put another tracker on the site tonight, too, just for kicks. Sigh.

Meanwhile, Laurence Simon has some thoughts about why there are so few black NASCAR drivers. There's also a post on the latest insanity in San Francisco, and some excellent child-rearing advice.


Blogger just apologized to me and restored my last post, but I'm replacing it with this one anyway. So there! :-P Just try making me feel better when you're crashed out and I'm jonesing to post...
Ok, I have been a very lazy blogger...had a fantastic weekend, got home late enough yesterday that I decided to take another night off. Just got home tonight. Bear with me, please...and if you're looking for news, go read *anybody* else...tonight is dedicated to things that make me laugh. I am still riding high from the weekend & I'm not ready to lose the buzz yet...